Tänään on 19.06.2019 17:44 ja nimipäiviään viettävät: Siiri, Sigrid ja Siri. Käytämme EVÄSTEITÄ | MOBIILIVERSIO M.BLOGIVIRTA.FI
Prologue for Morning:

Eyes wide shut

Julkaistu: · Päivitetty:

Normal 0 21 false false false FI X-NONE X-NONE MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 I’m so disappointed in people. There is only (self) deceit, confusion and prejudice found in them. I wrote before that maybe I can see the beauty of people as well as of nature now that I don't try to figure out ways to kill myself anymore. Well, It’s not going to happen. There is and will never be any beauty in people. People are only good at twisting and corrupting what they see. Only in nature and music can the sincere, true beauty of life be found. I’m so utterly disappointed it’s shattering the idea I’ve had that I could find at least a handful of people who see what I see. But no, all I have around me is a pack of pessimists not believing in anything and without any spirituality or depth to them. God.. it’s so lonely.. I’ve purposefully kept my distance from the people at school from day one, so it’s only natural that they exclude me pretty much from everything. They haven’t seemed like people I would enjoy getting to know (prejudice). But it seems the feeling I got from them from the start already is right. I walked on a bunch of them talking about fate and what they believe in today while searching for a quiet place to sleep. One of the guys there asked questions like “is it fate, that a man rapes 10 dogs and goes to jail? Is it fate that ….*similar example* ?” On another matter he was saying that he’s a thinker - he ponders about various things pretty much constantly. “For example how do we know there is no other colors besides the ones we know? How do we know this pole is black ? Birds see things in black and white and some can see the body heat of other animals through snow. Think about how it would be to taste color ! To… hear colors. Some people really do associate to a color when they hear a certain key. “ “Think about what if there was no gravity! “ Please tell me the point of wondering these things? Oh god.. you call yourself a thinker? All you’re doing is amusing yourself by imagining useless things. Imagine if pigs could fly. So what? Another guy said this: “You know I’m so relieved I don’t have to believe in some fairy tale creature. Science is so much more interesting than some old book” Ye well, you do realize science is a bit wider subject to consider than a single book? You can easily pick matters of interest in the science field no matter who you are. How can they be so negative? Disbelieving everything. Questioning everything. Are the only people important to me ones that have gone through a personal hell like me? Is it really true, that in order to be happy, you need to be extremely unhappy first? That only people without hardship in their past, can be so.. depressing? I’ve noticed it before also.. pretty much all the people I consider close to me, have been through depression, have suicide attempts behind them or have had other extremely painful experiences in their past. Is that just sad or does it really mean something?

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