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wow, Netflix has a reality show about glass blowing. out of all things glass blowing! hehe. well, maybe it will entertain me, probably a feel good show which suits me well. a week ago we enjoyed the weekend with doctor, went for walks and visited the Black Cultural Archives , there was a Windrush exhibitoon we wanted to see. really moving stuff. brunch near Kennington with Niina on Sunday. someone i know - not closely but anyway - has a bad case of cancer. she is around my age so it did hit home. i guess with every year there will be more and more of this... cancers, strokes... good reminder of how mortal we are. as that the flat purchase process is ploughing on, its becoming almost something unreal, never to be reached. not in an emotionally desperate way but just as a fact of life. maybe a bit like mortality, sure we all know we will eventually die but it just doesnt seem like its very close (except when someone you know gets cancer...). every week there is something small going on but it doesnt really seem to make a difference. over a week ago our solicitor sent the first enquiries to the vendor's solicitor. most of it i could not really figure out... but im glad they are fighting for us? a snapshot of the "first enquiries" document - which was long. im far too bored of repeating "this process is archaic and ridiculous" but there i said it again i guess. ive mentioned to some friends and acquitances that we are buying a home and of course by now i get people asking "hows that going, did you buy it?" like, yeah... trying! when i say we are in the process of buying people sometimes take it as we are still searching.. but i totally get that the concept of buying a property taking months is a bit hard to process. it was hard for for me too. i still dont get it, in fact. thats why i am whining here. ive started to consider we could use wallpaper instead of paint to create a wall or 2 that stand out. not sure if the stuff on this site https://www.photowall.co.uk/ is any good but it does look good. i dont know anything about wallpaper. i will look into once the ink is dry on the contract. ive been digging myself into this rabbit hole in the past week, feeling a bit down, a bit confused, a bit lonent. doctor left for turkey yesterday and that made the feelings even stronger. very psychological, cos he's only been away like 25 hours and that kind of breaks happen here and there anyway because of his shift work. anyway, im alone at home. i hope to make use of this time, but im unsure. annoyed by all the life admin work, pulled down by small misfortunes... i got this moisturizer from helsinki. its actually great. Jaisha stayed over at ours last weekend and we went to see a drag improv cabaret. i know Jaisha from a facebook group. i visited her in Milton Keynes in the summer and it was quite the experience, met lovely people and whatnot.