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It's hard to look at the old entries, so I won't go that way again. I'm not that person anymore. I'm constantly changing, but I think I've found balance. I know how to be positive force in people's life, and it feels so good. I'm very happy with K, the girl I met over 10 years ago. We have been engaged for over five years. I've finally moved forward from the shitty work I stayed way too long in, and even if I'm currently unemployed (since last week), I know there's good places to go and great work to do. I have great hobbies. I know my health is an issue, but I think I'm finally reaching a point where I can do something concrete about it. I have the energy. I've reached a place where death doesn't scare me as much anymore. r It feels nostalgic to write here again. I'm wondering if I should start writing regularly again. It somehow feels interesting to do it here, where I don't really expect anyone to read my stuff anymore. Probably I can't keep up to it, but we'll see.